I’m so sorry to hear you’re a fellow fibro fighter. It’s not easy to be diagnosed with any disease, but learning that you have one doctors cannot help you with can be profoundly defeating. I… More
UPDATE: I wrote what I thought was all of How I Lost All My F-cks in early 2016, even quickly getting myself an agent. It’s been a really crazy time, a lot has changed in the 3.5 years since. Actually, everything has changed. Now without an agent, I’m deep into rewrites of my own direction; transforming the memoir bit of my book (part 1’s “fuckfull to fuckless tale”) into much more than the brief tale I told nearly 4 years ago.
Life is funny.
Please stay tuned, and here’s a preview:
How I Lost All My Fucks is a one-month experience designed to have you losing all yours. I reveal my personal fuckfull to fuckless tale in all of its gory detail: shitfaced teen shenanigans, lessons from jail time, serendipitous magic, and very personal revelations – then I hand it over to you!
You’ll be learning several meditation styles via a 30-day meditation challenge, teaching you to use your mind in a more beneficial way whilst making it a more enjoyable headspace. You’ll also be accomplishing a series of Fuckless Adventures, which are just as fun as they sound. (And it all can be done in 20 minutes a day, longer if you get creative with it!)
How I Lost All My Fucks aims to be a cathartic emotional rollercoaster after which you will never be the same. Kind of like doing hallucinogens or having sex for the first time, but no one’s going to talk about how weird skin looks at great lengths, nor get an STD. Stay tuned for info on the release of How I Lost All My Fucks…
The summer before I nearly died of congenital B12 deficiency, starting me down a path of an extreme health makeover, I went a workshop for entrepreneurs in hopes of starting my still-someday-goal of owning a community-oriented cafe. Here’s the article they wrote about it, and the video they created:
This word was to help people re-member their true place in the Universe. Literally translated it means: “Thank you for taking your power”
Isn’t that fierce? I love how it calls one to service as well as being wildly empowering, like – thank you for standing up, being brave, and doing your fucking thing. Thank you for remembering that you are a piece of ‘God.’ Thank you for knowing you belong here and you’ve got shit to do.
GET IT, GET IT, FRIENDS. 🔥
There are many paths to spirituality, but I think books might be my very favorite. Here are the books that have touched my heart and helped me find my center:
The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield: An epic spiritual adventure! Lots about energy, very fun read.
Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman: Follows one man’s spiritual awakening, and a bromance to last the ages.
Energy Speaks, by Lee Harris: Shares the energetic components of life, and brilliant ways to use them to our advantage.
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle: Great advice about staying present, such a crucial aspect of this process. All his books are brilliant!
The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz: Focuses on common sense wisdom that is immediately applicable.
Ishmeal, by Daniel Quinn: Centered on our relationship and evolution with the rest of our planet.
Don’t Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle, by Doreen Virtue: Helps sensitives shine by showing us why we stopped.
The Law of Attraction, by Esther and Jerry Hicks: The OG law of attraction, this is where The Secret came from and puts those ideas more in context.
Flatland-A Romance of Many Dimensions, by Edwin A. Abbott: Explores life in 2-D, making 3-D seem realer whilst also making you wonder about what’s next.
Monkey, by Wu Ch’eng En: A 16th century text that follows monkey’s shenanigans on the way to enlightenment.
Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu: The basis of Taoism, feel the flow!
The Tao of Peace, by Diane Dreher: A brilliant analysis of the Tao that provides grounded ways of applying the concepts to life.
Jitterbug Perfume, by Tom Robbins: Tom Robbins mixes the sacred and the profane so very delightfully. His writing feels like Pan meets Jesus. (Which happens in Another Roadside Attraction…)
Conversations with God Series, by Neale Donald Walsh: Translates spiritual concepts through a western Christian’s perspective.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull: A story about a bird who knows that there’s more to living than meets the eye, he follows his heart even though the other sheep-birds think he’s bonkers.
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford: This book is the reason I find myself engaging in shadow work daily, she makes befriending and balancing our difficult aspects somehow kinda fun. Genius.
The Valkyries, by Paulo Cohelo: A darker look at personal transformation, occult focused. (Loved The Alchemist as well, so many more of his to read!)
Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert: A woman’s quest for inner peace via traveling the globe; to indulge, intensely meditate, and to learn ancient wisdom from a medicine man.
Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury: A dystopian society, a seeker, and an enlightening young woman.
Proof of Heaven, by Eben Alexander: A neurosurgeon and skeptic falls into a coma and an experience of life after death.
Spiritual awakening is the process of going from being enmeshed in the traditional “3D” experience of the world, to being consciously integrated into a spirit-centered experience – sounds so breezy, doesn’t it? Hahahaaaaaaaaa.
This quote by Adyashanti sums it up nicely, “Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of…untruth. It’s seeing through the façade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”
However, I do think that it makes us better, and it’s also totally worth it. (Plus, you can’t stop it anyways! So, unless you dig feeling lost, just lean in.)
Mine started with 11:11’s, coincidences, impassioned spiritual study, a cyst on my pineal gland, and hallucinogens all filling my world in my 19th year. Then there was a 5-day experience that a psychologist called a ‘mental break’ but my eastern philosophy professor dubbed ‘a spiritual awakening.’ After that, colors became more rich and stayed that way.
But there was much to come, especially once I committed, which took quite awhile (I’m telling ya, lean in now). Spiritual awakening is the process of becoming aligned with your soul’s plan for your life, so it usually involves significant change; and my story’s no different, everyone and everything in my life wholly changed. It shifted in phases, and they were not fun phases. But they were filled with magic too, with meaning and significance that made the ick seem almost irrelevant (and infinitely easier to handle).
And, now into my 37th year, I’m sure there’s still much to come! I’ve heard people talk about fully awakened humans (generally referring to themselves), but I’m not convinced that’s actually a thing. I feel like I’d need to master things like astral travel before I could even begin to know what I don’t know yet, there’s just so much to awaken to, to integrate into this worldly life…I’m not convinced anyone can do it all. (I look forward to seeing how I feel about it in my 94th year.)
What’s your take, can we gain fully integrated spiritual awareness from here? Is that what you think of as ‘the end’ of spiritual awakening? What’s your awakening been like? Please comment (or bust out an article!) with your experience and knowledge…
Asshoolios. We all know ’em. Sometimes we even behave like ’em, don’t we? Most of us eventually see our err; and try to make good, hurt as it may. But there’s some that can never ever seem to see their own wrong doings…and these are the true asshoolios.
These guys don’t mean to be mean, it’s usually just their own unhealed wounds at the wheel, but they still hurt people and fuck up lives nonetheless. They need to be taught that this behavior isn’t effective, and, as a society, we really teach them the exact opposite.
When someone’s a dick (even to someone else, even while “joking,” even if they’re the boss) it’s tempting to shrink, to make yourself less noticeable so that heat’s not tempted to burn your way – but then they fucking win, man.
They dominate the exchange, and the heat’s rarely thrown back in their stupid faces; which is the whole point of their debacles, to deflect negative attention from their insecure asses.
Assholes often appear fuckless, but it’s a faux-fucklessness. It might scream “I do what I want!!,” but it’s actually just a precious security blankie, one they have no idea they’re clinging to. A warped mirror offered to the world instead of their authentic soul.
And that authentic soul would be cool AF someday, if only given the chance to play. To grow on purpose, to not only acknowledge their errs, but to make light of them, as they used to do at others’ expense.
They could make growth a shtick, or a company culture, industry standard, or cultural norm – because these fuckheads run this world. And it’s got to stop.
To this end, I vow to call these peeps on their shit more often, and to continuing to offer “yeahHhhhh!!’s” if someone braver starts first. And, more importantly, I vow to always be my weirdass self, even though she tends to take more of this ‘heat,’ it’s just worth it.
So, you with me?
I love this quote. After going through a difficult time, any semi-reflective person is likely to do some thinking on their weaknesses and faults; because how else does one avoid making the same mistakes?
But it’s easy to overdo ‘er. It’s common to not only own one’s errs, but to define ourselves by them, if only unconsciously. When you decide that you’ll never be good enough, things improving seems impossible. And the mental place of “why bother?” is no breeding ground for resilience.
Compassion for ourselves helps us get to a place of seeing ourselves as stronger and wiser for our mistakes, which makes trying again seem worth the effort and potential risks.
And compassion for others is how we become able to look at the world, and the people in it, as potentially trustworthy. This enables us to put ourselves “out there” again, one of many daunting-but-essential parts of getting to a place of resilience.
Becoming resilient is generally one that must be hard won, but the goods are mighty good indeed. Excited I stumbled onto the work of Sharon Salzberg today! All that just from reading one of her quotes, fun fun.
Ah, vulnerability. In order to really love, we have to really trust, really allow ourselves to be seen. There’s no chance of telling yourself, “Well, they didn’t even really know the REAL ME if you’re vulnerable.”
Allowing yourself to be fully seen is indeed the only way to be fully rejected, but it’s also the only way to be really loved. Who cares if someone loves the facade of you that you’ve created for them? (Yet, the obviousness of the point doesn’t make it less tempting, does it? 🤣)
It’s scary to really put yourself out there with someone, to demonstrate your fragility – but it’s the only path to real connection.
Meditation will change your life. Surely, you’ve heard this before, yes? And you probably thought in response, “How the eff will sitting there trying not to think change my life?” – and this is a fair question. The answer: Meditation is able to change people’s lives because it changes the way we think, and our minds rule our lives.
The power in meditation is all about awareness of your mind, and learning to use it as a tool that serves you; rather than the other way around.
When you start to view your mind from the perspective that it’s just one of the many tools at your disposal in your human body, like your hand or your nose, you begin to detach from your thought patterns like they are who you are. The problem with defining oneself by the thoughts streaming through your head, is that they aren’t all gems. Our thought patterns are often just conditioned responses to our environment, and many of them are not actually of service to the lives we’re working to create.
When we define ourselves by our thoughts, we feel a need to defend them. This makes change impossible. When you befriend your mind, thereby befriending your ego, you can start to work with it so it serves you better – sans all that messy identity crisis stuff. Meditation starts off this process by cluing you into what the heck’s going on up there, crucial info.
And it’s highly likely that you’ll “suck at meditation” when you start, this is totally normal. You’ll probably think the whole time; but you’ll still be highly productive because you’re learning mindfulness, how to cultivate awareness of what your mind is doing. If you stick with it, it gets easier, more relaxing, and will lead to great (great!) insight and inspiration. Here’s the how’s:
- Get Comfy. There are people out there who will tell you that you must sit a certain way, and you should ignore them. Posture helps focus (imagining a line going from the base of your spine, pulling through the top of your head), and if you lie down you run a higher risk of falling asleep – but I have fibromyalgia and often enjoy meditation curled up in a comfy ball. As always, do you.
- Focus on Your Breath. Breathe deeply, focusing on the sensation of air flowing out into your nose, the full feeling of your lungs, how the air feels as it passes back out, etc. As thoughts spring to mind, do as Mooji says and, “Let every thought come and hug you, but you don’t hug anything. Then, gradually, the noise will start to back off.” And when it does, things get mega-peaceful. It’s the shit.
- Don’t Get Judgy. You won’t be pleased at all of your thought patterns, there may even be content that you feel ashamed of. Well, knock it off! Your brain has been culturally conditioned by the world that we live in, which encourages all kinds of not-fun nonsense. Just let it go, and don’t be surprised if it takes awhile. The thought patterns (and neural pathways) will start to lose their mojo, and eventually peter out. YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND. It is your tool, and you can learn to use it as you wish.
- Repeat. Start with a 5-minute session and work up from there. Challenge yourself to get up to 20 minutes, and to do it everyday for a month. (If you’re not hooked by then, you get a full refund for this article!) You can also take it out into the world, actively meditating, watching your mind and working to still it, while your waiting in line, doing dishes, or taking a stroll in the woods.
- Learn More. There are many more methods of meditation besides mindfulness. We just went over moving meditation, and I’ve recently fallen in love with transcendental meditation, which involves working with a mantra. What else can you uncover?
There are many quotes within the spiritual world that are so ubiquitous, no one knows where they originated. One of these is, “What you resist, persists.”
When we wish part of our life would change, and we wish it A LOT – this is called contrast.
Focusing on the contrasted experiences in our worlds pretty standard, we’ve been conditioned to feel that this is responsible; even when all we’re doing is “worrying,” which is perhaps the most wasteful thing one can do with their energy.
I prefer Buckminster Fuller’s take: “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
When we’re trying to invite different experiences into our lives, new energies, we cannot focus on what we wish would fuck off. We must focus on building, on creation, which happens in this very moment. (Even if it’s pissing you off.)
What are you inviting in? New juju, or same ol’ shinola?
I love this quote. Authenticity sounds simple: “Just be yourself.”
But in reality, presenting yourself without a safe facade can be tricky, it’s why I wrote my book! Being authentically yourself means being truly seen – something that requires vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.
And even though authenticity is a buzzword, it’s not actually what we expect from another in our culture… For instance, I write about cannabis for a living, which I LOVE; but being open about that means that some people think of a stoner stereotype and write me off at that. Poof! Done.
But that’s where integrity comes in. Do I want to be around people who don’t want me to be fully myself around them? That want me to skirt around my potential controversial aspects, or pretend they aren’t there? Is that how someone of character behaves?
It’s a grey area. Some could argue that it’s nicer to stay non-controversial. But I would argue that it’s a path to ignorance and crowd mentality. I think it’s our moral imperative to find and be the best, *most whole*, versions of ourselves; that it’s the whole fucking point of this “life” gig.
#DoYou isn’t simple for most of us. Do it anyways.