I got to go see my favorite spiritual teacher this weekend!! @leeharrisenergy had a day-long workshop just an hour away, and there were folks to came from around the world to be there. It felt like a privilege, and it was one indeed.
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His approach to spirituality, especially in this live experience, was both humorous and human. My irreverent approach to this work sometimes leaves me feeling alone between two worlds, but he spoke directly to this feeling; saying we need to be bridges between the two worlds, integrating and connecting regular culture + spirit, which I’ve been pondering the process of for as long as I can remember. Magic.
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He didn’t drop any f-bombs, but made me feel less alien nonetheless! More highlights: compassion is the medicine the world needs, everything is set to energetically amplify (weee 🎉), “creativity’s bringing angelic energy into the world through the body,” courage NEEDS fear, “creativity is growth,” and — ears up, fellow empaths, “don’t confuse life force with pain.”
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We also did automatic writing (means for soul/higher self communication) and for the first time since my experimental drug years — it worked! My hand was just flying, writing down exciting and encouraging things; which Lee himself intuitively confirmed. Again, magic. (More on that later!)
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The universe was up to its synchronistic ways, sitting me next to two #spoonies. The symptoms of the fellow #fibromyalgia fighter and #myalgicencephalomyelitis crusher symptoms were considerably more manageable than mine, inspirations of healing — right when a fibro friend shared she hasn’t had a flare in a year! Good signs indeed.
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When I got home, my bod was upset at all the action — but I was too on fire to sleep. My hand kept flying into my sketchbook, busting out bigger dreams than I’ve ever dreamt, and I’ve always been an ambitious gal. Big, my friends, BIG. Like, attention on the real, ridiculous, live ME — instead of words spewed then safely edited in private — SCARY, man.
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But Lee also covered the difference between being scared of growth experiences and being *terrified* (esp in body) of harmful ones...and these ideas are securely in the first camp. Send juju! ❤️🌀
All of it.⠀
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Yes, I probably haven't even met you – but I can pinky-promise that your shame is bullshit.⠀
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Even if you're a homewrecking, money-losing, mansplaining dillhole who tails people instead of just passing slower cars whilst picking his nose and wiping it under the seat – your shame is bullshit.⠀
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See, I know this because ALL shame is bullshit.⠀
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It's not productive to judge oneself or others as less than because of past actions. (Judging, in general, does nothing productive!* Constructive criticism has plenty oomph on its own.) ⠀
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Things get productive when we ask ourselves how we will apply this hard-earned knowledge for the next time, and shame prevents this by encouraging distraction from the emotional wound itself.⠀
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Being human is hard. Of course you fucked up, it's part of the deal. Thoughts along the lines of "how will I rock it better next time" are nourishing, and thoughts like "I'm such a stupid POS no one will ever love me, I don't deserve it" – well, they're bullshit. Plain. And. Simple.⠀
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* I also feel a need to say that, like many writers/artists, when I express myself in this fashion I'm channeling what we new agey folks call "higher self," or the bit of one's multidimensional soul that's mostly focused on this lifetime; I'm not professing that I've fully mastered integrating it into my life! That tends to take a big longer than getting quiet, then typing at me typeboard 🤣⠀
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#spiritualgangster #fuckshame #shame #personalgrowth #selflove #growth⠀
This was such an inspiring article to write. These families shouldn't have to be engaging in herculean efforts to get their children life-saving medicine, but I'm so grateful I got to speak to two that are more than rising to the occasion. ⠀
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Medical cannabis is a very real medicine that aids a very real and very ignored (see next article...) bodily system. It's a rather delicate one to keep balanced, with severe results when balance is lost. And children are no exception. ⠀
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It's not easy to depend on federally illegal medicine, especially for a child, but these families have conquered this challenge that shouldn't exist; and it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. As fighter Coltlyn Turner says, "I'd rather be legally alive than legally dead."⠀
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To check out their amazing stories in one of my latest for Leafly, please click "Writing Around the Web" in my bio link.⠀
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If you're pro- #medicalcannabis, you'd be bonkers not to follow @official_illegallyalive and @mycannakids (+, of course, @leafly) 💚🌱⠀
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#medicalmarijuana #cannabisismedicine #heros #everydayheros #cannabiswriter #endocannabinoidsystem⠀
When you have a chronic illness, you’re balancing a jillion things while walking on a tightrope. And I don’t mean typical life stresses, or even the additional tasks and whatnot of #spoonielife — I mean strange bodily demands with cruel (and often unusual) punishment for disobeying.
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I finally realized just today that apathy is a major trigger in losing my ability to “fake it to make it.” I’ve been flaring (experiencing more intense and disabling symptoms) for most of this week and finally got out of the house today, but I was still really shaky on that ol’ tightrope.
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I’m going to a @leeharris workshop on Saturday (🎉) that I got tickets for months ago, so staying on that tightrope/not falling into a flare is extra important, as is the need to catch up on work, so I was feeling pretty frazzled when I got to the sensory overwhelm that is the mall.
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Then a mistake resulted in 90 minutes of unplanned activity —minor annoyance for ableds, but a problem for a spoonie, esp today. And driving + walking are major triggers, and the drive and parking lot were both very...California.
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And the staff members didn’t give a flying fuck. “It wasn’t me, it’s not my fault” was the response, even from the manager. It was a corporation with corporate policies, so there was probably nothing to be done except apologize; but the shock of that reaction (added with their amusement) instead of basic compassion made me lose my faux-cool.
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I became aware of my body’s intense discomfort, now paired with all the additional symptoms that pour in when I’m upset; and lost my fucking shit, crying like a petulant child in a @microsoft. (At least it wasn’t a sleek and weirdly quiet Apple store 🤷♀️)
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But, as far as this learning curve goes, there’s been much worse falls. (I gave myself a C, the time in ‘16 I told a cab driver to go fuck himself was an F. He was a real dick though.) Trying to work the self-love, and I’m happy I identified another trigger, though it seems terribly obvious now.
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And I have a computer again, weeeeeeee!!! Please send juju I don’t miss the workshop to stay home sick nor “fall”/meltdown during it. And I hope you’re doing just fabulous, happy Friday tomorrow 😘
In October of 2013, I experienced both a spiritual experience known as the #darknightofthesoul as well as a miserable illness. I’ve been feeling similarly like absolutely useless hell the last couple days, and I keep thinking of that period.
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I keep finding myself thinking about how everything changed after that month, how it felt like an initiation to a new way of life. What if the end of that experience — the crumbling of my old world (via illness), and the painfully slow building of a stronger foundation — were also bookended with another bummer physical experience? What if these bonkers symptoms are actually a sign of a new life of fibro-remission and awesomeness?
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Big physical healing experiences are generally painful, check, and I’ve also been chugging water like whoa since my reiki on Friday, an encouraging sign of quick ick processing. My imagination and hope muscles are admittedly well-developed, so I’m not betting on this physical hell ending in my feeling like a regular person — but whenever I draw a tarot/oracle card it’s all like, “trust your intuition.” (And I’m publicly writing about it, so there’s that 🤷♀️)
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My note at reiki (@thesaltloungelb 🙌🌀) this week was to send an “inner smile” to my pain, so since #fibromyalgia pain is presently always present, I’ve been doing it rather constantly; even waking up from a pain dream where I was ignoring the “faking it” accusations (that IRL shit reallllly fucks with a person, #butyoudontlooksick) by focusing on inner smile. Healing will be mine.
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So, if you have a spare minute today, I’d appreciate it you could imagine me saying, “I’ve never felt so great in my whole life. I just go to bed every night knowing I’m going to wake up feeling pretty darn good the next day. It’s a FUCKING MIRACLE!!” Thank you for the juju, and sending some your way too. 😘
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📸: Another positive omen! This ladybug wouldn’t leave me alone last week, they’re supposed to represent good luck 🥰🐞
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#spoonie #wellnessjourney #spiritualgangster #spiritualgangsta #health #healing #healingjourney #invisibleillness #reiki #reikihealing #ladybug #goodluck
My laptop died a sad death this week after I spilled decaf on it’s laptop — only a little bit! But, apparently, that’s enough. They’re working on sending a new one, so I’m leaning in for the weekend; doing diy crafty projects, chillaxing, and generally enjoying myself.
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Everyone in Long Beach seems to be sniffly and stuffy-brained, and I’m no exception, so it’s good timing there. And I finally had to let go of an article that I put months of work into, so I’m not really feeling the writerly flow anyways. Watch out for starry eyes, my friend. It is not “all happening.” (But one way or another, it will, damnit...)
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I’m also amped about another creative opportunity, c’est la vie, eh? The universe shuts a door and opens a window, and whatnot. (Though I’ve always wondered why it’s not the other way: moving from a open window to a door, isn’t that more appealing?) This one’s art related too, so I’m excited to mix up my focus a bit, yay. Hope the rest of your weekend is wonderful 😘
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📸: I’ve been upping the hair color lately! I can’t get purple to stick but have discovered a fairly low-maintenance way to keep pastel pink 🎉 Got me rocks full moon charged, crafts, noms and a powerful read, and devising a new way to paint the stars.
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#writersofinstagram #goaldigger #longbeach #lbc #almostfamous #chillax #lazyweekend #creative
