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How I Lost All My F-cks

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Feeling anxious tonight, not really for any specific reason. You know, that I’m aware of anyways. I probably should have turned off Hulu sooner and got to my self-care stuffs, but the show Casual had me sucked in. (Nothing to cure an anxious mood like a couple hours of watching a show about anxious people!) . I did get a lot done despite another day of clouds and monster pain (#spoonieprobs), so hopefully I’ll wake up feeling more on top of it. I feel under it tonight. So very under it. But that’s nonsense, I’ll be okay like this lady. (How awesome is this artist??) Hope your night’s glorious 😘 . #Repost @makedaisychains with @get_repost ・・・ 🌈🌈🌈 [image description: hand drawn digital illustration of a thin person with long lilac hair and mid tone skin has their hands to their temples and is meditating. Around them is pastel flowers and vines. In their hair it says “I will be ok”]

Fibro hell is back with a vengeance, it rolled right in with the clouds. I remember reading a V.C. Andrews book in junior high where the main character talked about how awful she felt when the weather was miserable, I thought my empathy with her was just angsty or something; but it was probably an early sign of health problems to come. I later asked a classmate if their bones felt like they’d shatter whenever they got cold. They looked at me like I was a weirdo, so I tried to stop talking about it. And how tired I was all the time. . B12 deficiency (congenital and genetic) finally almost killed me 20 years later, then fibromyalgia symptoms that’d plagued me for years were diagnosed as well — so who knows which of the nervous system frizzing diseases were causing the weather-pain-trouble initially, they bully in similar ways. (Ways that totally destroy you whilst also managing to be subtle enough to sneak. Fuckers.) Oh. Goodness gracious goobers this hurts. I miss how good I felt yesterdayyyy 😩 . 📸: At least the sun lasted through moving houses and our first walk, hanging with these cuties in Belmont Shore this week. Yay for snuggles.

If you think about it, we live in our minds; it's a home that we can never escape for as long as we live. And yet most of us let our minds run amok doing whatever they please, letting our freakin' mind-house boss us around and make us miserable. . Meditation will teach you to be the boss. 👊🧠🏡 . My book baby, How I Lost All My F-cks, is one part my fuckfull to fuckless tale of misadventure; 2nd part’s a meditation challenge to introduce you to your mind (you might think you know... 🤯); And the final part’s a series of 20 Fuckless Adventures, which are a whole lot like dares. ‘Tis a month that won’t be forgotten.

I had a nice n’ busy day after an awesome night last night, the pain’s set in now (#fibromyalgia) but I’m bonkers grateful for some quality time feeling like a real person. I got to go to a friend’s work party, on a boat! I love boats. Behind my ginormous smile, there’s even a big ol’ boat in the background too.(#queenmary) Seeing Long Beach from the water at night was stunning, especially with all the twinkle lights. And delightful company to boot. Grateful, grateful, grateful.

Feeling grateful this morning after finally having a good health day yesterday and it colliding with delightful plans. I felt like a real person! (#chronicillness) I hope your day’s filling you with contentment as you work towards what you’d like to have. 😘

You've probably heard of #restingbitchface, when your face's "neutral" expression tells people to right fuck off. Well, I have #restingniceface, which instead invites people to assume I'm fine by landing in a slight smile when at neutral. Hardly an affliction. But it can still cause trouble, especially when trying to get a diagnosis for real problems...⠀ .⠀ Get the full scoops by clicking "Resting Niceface Made My Invisible Illness Go Undiagnosed for 25 Years" in my bio link!⠀

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