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How I Lost All My F-cks

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What a lovely week. I’m not physically feeling well the last couple days (#spoonieproblems), but Wednesday I felt great and took a long beach break to integrate the wisdom given to me at my @thesaltloungelb / @truthintuitions reading, advice that had already been given to me by a TV show the night before: make an “ideal” list for my home and romantic partner. Gotta love synchronicity! . After a fruitless tattoo consult yesterday, I went home-hunting to the same results; but did score a tasty lunch and visit to my future ‘hood. Everything hurt, I was moody, and I spilled black bean juice all over my arm whilst pounding the pavement— so I decided I deserved a glass of wine before coming home to rest. (Sooo much resting 🤬 #fibromyalgia) The ability to treat myself without guilt or anxiety is such a life-hug. Grateful, grateful, grateful. . 📸: Not mentioned — my car gives me an eco score based on my driving, gah I love my Zaria car. (#crz) My new yoga mat! (Gah I love @society6 and #sacredgeometry) My future neighborhood cannabis dispensary @lbgreenroom, street art in my new ‘hood, new toy doodles, and spotted my favorite flower. SWOON 😘 . . . . . . #grateful #gratitude #movingonup #levelingup #synchronicity #signs #coincidence #coincidenceithinknot #spiritualgangster #hondacrz #yogamat #newlife #cannabislove #greenroom #flower #purpleflowers #surfacebook #ocean #floweroflife #sacredgeometryart

Ahhhh glorious life. I didn’t get the place I was hoping to move to, but it’s hardly been on my mind; there’s far too much delightfulness at hand. Today I had a day I’ve been daydreaming/visualizing for a long time. It started with my first Thai massage ($35/1 hr special, geotagged below! #lbc), which made my #fibrowarrior body so very happy, ah. . Then I headed over to #truthtuesdays at @thesaltloungelb for a reassuring and apt intuitive reading by the talented @truthintuitions followed with a reflective salt lounge session. Then I went and picked up cannabis/medicine from my awesome future neighborhood dispensary @lbgreenroom, getting my trusty @papaandbarkley THCa/CBD and some flower that’s just bonkers delicious. Mmmm. 🤤 . And the driving, so very blissful (my week-old 2012 CR-Z ❤️). My heart’s even stopped stopping with the engine (#hybrid) at traffic lights, yay. My Tussy car died at many a traffic light before fully (finally) her last death a few months ago, so it took me a minute to adjust! ...And my work bag (#cannabiswriter, #whynot) with it’s Southeast Alaska love. I can’t even. . I’m intensely grateful to finally be able to engage in self care and expression so fully, like I can’t even think about how grateful I am without tearing up! 🤣 It’s been a very long road, and I’m so happy to be on a new one. . . . . . . #grateful #gratitude #levelingup #southeastalaska #movingonup #getitgetit #itsawholenewworld #longbeach #spiritualgangsta #personalgrowth #cannabis #medicinalcannabis #spoonie #happy #treatyoself #treatyoselftuesday #beginnings #selfcare

Fuckless Tarot – August 19-25, 2019 . Click on my website (bio link!) for this week’s tarot, which isn’t actually in my stories because it was FAR too many. Please hang with me whilst I adjust to video posting 🤣 . This week’s off to a luxurious beginning, with the luminous 9 of Pentacles. Monday through early Wednesday, look for opportunities to cherish some “me time,” a perfect time to treat yo’self. . Midweek through early Friday, maybe close that wallet again – the 4 of Pentacles hails a time of needing to balance expenditures, but it could also mean to watch out for being stingy-minded. (Are you feeling guilty about that treat yo’self??) . And for the weekend, we’ve got another busy one – the 2 of Pentacles (R) reminds us to prioritize. Write a list of your “fucking must get dones” and see to them first, this card is reversed so it does point to extra challenges in accomplishing everything you’d like. Back-up plans are good, and staying present really helps prevent fuck ups: Be. Here. Now. . Have a fabulous week!! 😘 . . . . . . #tarot #weeklytarot #tarotreading #weeklyspread #spiritualgangsta #spirituality #guidance #video #reading #mysticism #riderwaite #mondaymotivation #mondaymagic #mondaymood

I want an apartment I saw today. I want it baaaaad, so very very bad. And it might be mine! But I don’t know because it’s not my decision to make, so I’m reminding myself of the life wisdom of staying unattached to the outcome; repeating a mantra given by a friend, “what is mine will come to me with ease.” . And yet my imagination, she can’t stop playing with wall color palettes...c’est la vie. (When I asked about painting, my hopeful landlord said the words, “I want you to treat it like your own house.” HELLO 😍) Playing interior designer is just so darn fun. But the trying with the non-clinging is helping my emotions nonetheless! . Juju sends appreciated! (And thoughts on an orange room? I tend to go cool, but want to warm up to the warm chakra tones...) Good nighty night 😘✴️ . . . . . . . . #attachment #clingy #spirituality #spiritualgangsta #buddha #whatisminewillalign #loa #manifestation #apartmenthunt #apartmenthunting #chakras #sacralchakra #colortherapy #interiordesign

About four years ago, a friend of mine visited me in Portland, where I’d been slowly getting progressively sicker — a strange process that’s progress is hard to gauge without partner nor medical help, and her stoic reaction to a *very* thrilling story I’d told her was very telling; denying something was seriously wrong wouldn’t last much longer. . But that momentous story, it thrilled me!! Ready? Even though I hadn’t called in sick all week, the Saturday before I’d done errands, died my hair, cooked, *and* did a DIY project — all in one lil’ day. FOUR things! BONKERS, right?!? (And I didn’t even know what a #spoonie was, let alone that I was one 🤣) Well, I had me another one of those awesomely productive days today and it was mighty glorious. . After an awesome full moon reiki meditation at @thesaltloungelb last night, I woke up early feeling weirdly good. (#fibromyalgia) I had a full self-care morning: qigong, meditation, tarot, sunny reading sans sunglasses (melatonin regulation attempt), and “unsorting” — checking all my email, notifications, news, and tidying up my space. This takes awhile. . BUT THEN, I still hit up Target; buying essentials that’d become luxury items in crisis — like weights for my daily conditioning (vs these 📸 yrs-old cans, haha) and undergarments that aren’t 2 sizes too big, #oversharedontcare. (Also go go profanity-laced personal development #howilostallmyfucks 🙌) . AND THEN I went to the beach, remembering to load my trunk up with nature-friendly shoes along with my beach bag. (Also note back seat photo: not for sleeping! #nevergoingback) The air was deliciously salty, with all kinds of beachy frolicking to watch. . AND THEN I went to work! (#cannabiswriter) I finished up and sent off a couple essays I put a lot of work into, which always feels wonderful but the grounding act felt especially good after such a dreamy week. (This is real life, yo. Sustainable. MY life!) PLUS, I also made cannabis oil and got excited about my new business cards arriving. Grateful, grateful, grateful.

It's all like, "Good moooorning..." 🌀✨⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ ⁠⠀ #meaning #depth #meaningoflife #spiritualgangster #philosophy #333 #1111 #awakening #spiritual #spiritualawakening #evolution #darknightofthesoul #yougotthis #ascension #wakethefuckup #growth #personalgrowth

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