Having a real emo time lately, which makes sense as I’ve been intentionally doing work in the realm of emotional processing lately — but still unpleasant. I woke up crying about oldish hurts two days in a row, today it was how many cover letters I’ve written over the last eleven years and all the shitty things people said about me during those times.
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Trying with your everything sometimes just looks like failing to those on the outside, especially when assumptions are involved. And it can be fucking soul crushing. If you know someone who’s struggling, please listen to their words; never arriving at a conclusion when you ought to be asking a question.
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Goooooodness it feels like my bones are breaking, #fuckfibro. I went to bed at 11, over ten hours ago, but have been up every hour or two, taking forever to get back to sleep. This disease is infuriatingly ironic: my pain would greatly lessen, but I cannot sleep until it does. Hopefully dumping some words outta my head will help. Thanks for listening 😘
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📸: Selenite! Last month I randomly put a selenite wand in my purse before leaving the house, and felt moved to give it to a homeless couple when I didn’t have any cash on me. I didn’t recall what the stone is for at the time, but it transmutes energy; leading to harmony and harmonious connection. I like to think it’s making them better partners in their struggling times. It’s also a healing stone, transmuting physical energy that doesn’t serve — this baby sits by me all day 💎🥰
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And the ten of swords, which I’ve been seeing a lot lately. It’s one that looks upsetting, but tarot deals in metaphors — this isn’t about someone who’s been stabbed in the back, but perhaps feels that way. The fact that there’s TEN swords doesn’t usually point to excessive force, but feeling a drama in a knock-you-out way; but things are actually fine. The storm is rising, and a new start awaits.
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#selenite #gemstones #woowoo #newage #emotions #emotionalhealth #emotionalhealing #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #personalgrowthjourney #thursdaythoughts #thefeels #thestruggleisreal #thestruggleisreal #hardtimesdontlast #yougotthis #tarot #tarotreadersofinstagram
I got what were likely my last two ocean floats today and yesterday! The weather forecast says low 70’s are as high as the temperature’s gonna get, brrrrrr. Hahahaha. 🤣
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I’m from Alaska, where they’ve got 30’s and even 20’s on the horizon; so things are in perspective, I’m just hoping this winter is easier on my symptoms (#fuckfibro). I plan to forego the whole stupid winter flare fiasco and instead heal this disease entirely, enabling me to not only float next summer — but to full-out swim!
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I may have said that before, you know, every year since 2016, but it’s gonna be true one of these years, gosh darn it; and the one where my nervous system is no longer dealing with a seriously panicked Meg makes a lot of sense to me.
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Plus, I’ve got another year of daily conditioning under my belt, and added qigong, transcendental meditation, and reiki to my toolset. DIE FIBROMYALGIA DIE!! (That’s not very om, is it? “Thank you for your transformative lessons, now kindly give me my body back, you rat fucking bastard. ✨”)
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📸: The sweet sweet last days of summer, complete with the season’s first/last Moscow mule (delish @thesociallistlb 🙌), and the ultimate sign of no-more-swims this season — a (floating) Long Beach Christmas tree.
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#longbeachcity #longbeachlife #longbeachca #fibro #fibromyalgia #fibrowarrior #spoonie #spoonieproblems #wellnessjourney #healing #healingjourney #health #wellness #easternmedicine #alaskan #spiritualgangster
Authenticity sounds simple: "Just be yourself." ⠀
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But in reality, presenting yourself without a safe facade can be tricky, it's why I wrote my book! (#HowILostAllMyFucks) Being authentically yourself means being truly seen – something that requires vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.⠀
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And even though "authenticity" is a buzzword, it's not actually what we expect from another in our culture...there can be repercussions. For instance, I write about cannabis for a living, which I LOVE; but being open about that means that some people think of a stoner stereotype and write me off at that. Poof! Done.⠀
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But that's where the integrity comes in. Do I want to be around people who don't want me to be fully myself around them? That want me to skirt around my potential controversial aspects, or pretend they aren't there? Is that how someone of character behaves?⠀
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It's a grey area. Some could argue that it's nicer to stay non-controversial. But I would argue that it's a path to ignorance and crowd mentality. I think it's our moral imperative to find and be the best, *most whole*, versions of ourselves; that it's the whole fucking point of this "life" gig. ⠀
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#DoYou isn't simple for most of us. Do it anyways. 😘⠀
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#writer #booklovers #books #growth #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #authenticity #vulnerability #integrity #character #consciousliving #positivevibes #getitgetit #wellness #selfcare #mondaymotivation ⠀
RESILIENCE: This is my favorite tree in Long Beach. We became acquainted when I arrived here two years ago, homeless and very very sick. I lived in my 1993 Camry, named Tussy, for seven months; and would come to visit this tree often, I find it very soothing.
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I’d stare at it’s strange shape and think about how long it must have grown sideways, how it probably seemed like it had no chance at surviving; which is how I felt at the time, hopeless with very little chance of survival.
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But just as this gorgeous lil’ tree now reaches right for the sun, I too made it through my sideways time. I don’t really know how, adrenaline and delusional optimism were definitely big components, but here I am on the other side — definitely still shaken, but doing my best to reach for the sun.
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We bounce back, if we let ourselves. I’m a lover of the Tao te Ching, which does many things; but one of my favorites is that it applies the patterns of nature to human life, recognizing that we are part of its web. We too reach for the sun, even when unseen forces seem to want to keep us grounded.
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Whatever fuckery is trying to smash you down, you’re gonna prevail. You’re going to be more interesting for it. And you’re gonna shine. You already are. Get that sun! Get it, get it ☀️
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#resilience #resilient #getitgetit #yougotthis #youcandoit #encouragement #inspiration #inspirational #tao #taoteching #treesplease #treelove #treelover #sundaylove #sundayvibes
